When it’s your turn to be the listener, own it fully. What does this mean? It means remembering that we have responsibilities too. For example as listeners we can choose to:
- put aside the other things we are doing or thinking about for a moment, for an hour, etc, or perhaps now is not a good time – we can share this too.
- pretend we are listening, nod our heads, say uh-huh or yes in the right places, etc. Pretending might fulfill our immediate need, however we might also be missing something important – like connection and relationship. If a listener was the great pretender, would a song be far behind?
- check in with ourselves and bring our presence, or not.
- interrupt, or not.
- listen for context. For example, if someone is sharing and uses a word or a phrase, or takes a position that we don’t appreciate, instead of tuning out, we could try to listen for the context – we might find ourselves surprised at what we learn.
- ask questions, or not.
- bring our curiosity, or not. If curiosity was a cat, would it purr, scratch, jump, meow or climb a tree?
- use our voice, or not.
- acknowledge that we understand and agree, or not.
- challenge ourselves when we feel uninterested in the speaker. We can grab our curiosity and try to find a way to listen in and engage.
- tell the other person we are having a difficult time connecting and ask them why this topic matters to them.
- remember listening is something we learn throughout our entire lifetime – there are so many things to learn. And making mistakes is part of the learning.
Enjoy the stories, and have a playful day,
Mary
P.S. If rice was a listener, would they be sticky and starchy, tossed in the air for a celebration, or fried and served and with chicken and Parmesan cheese.
