The other day after accomplishing something I was proud of, I heard a loud knock at the door. I didn’t answer and the knocking turned into pounding. A little scared, I opened it and found a beautiful woman standing there. Her name was Shame.
Shame came with an invitation to an amusement park. Now, my friend, experience told me it would be worth my while to knock about a bit with this pretty little thing on a clear and sunny day. So, off we went.
When we arrived it turned out there was a rather hefty admission price . . . you know . . . those feelings we get in our gut and core – man-oh-man they can be something, can’t they?
I was willing to pay the admission fee because I knew ignoring Shame was not the answer. She insisted I try out the roller coaster. I’ve only been on one roller coaster ride and I didn’t like it – I was around 7 at the time.
Shame loved the ride and smiled the whole way through. She reveled as the roller coaster crested before a huge fall where I heard how absurd I was, how unwelcome I was, how I’d never get it right, how useless it was to bother. And, I listened, and felt all those feelings.
Finally, I took her hand and offered her an imaginary bowl of homemade lentil soup and a raspberry.
I told her she had a good imagination and that I needed her to stop playing games and be real. If she would please knock on my door with something I REALLY needed to be aware of – not things like this! Shame said nothing. I told her I thought she was doing a fine job of bullying and she starred back at me as if to say, “Really now – WHO is doing the bullying?”
Well, okay – I am. I can’t deny it. I was the one having and listening to those thoughts. I also admitted she was being real – these were things I DID need to look at and be aware of. She then took me to the haunted house and helped me remind myself of all the shit and I listened more openly.
When she stopped her oh-so-discomfiting-ranting. I said yes, I’m human. I’m okay. She nodded in agreement.
I thanked her for her visit, for I learned a thing or two. I then called my pal Confidence, and went on about my day.
– Mary
Edited:
- 12/25/16 – Removed image.
- 1/2/17 – Added new image and edited text for greater clarity.
- 5/19/22 – removed image.
