How do I define play? In the past I would give examples of what play was like, for example the image you have of yourself or a child at play. I also had a working definition which was long, and ponderous. People often see me as playful and this can be a liability because, in the moment, some interpret what play is by how they see me behaving and that can be limiting.
Now after some experimenting, I can say I am playing and/or in a state of play if I am or I have:
- engaged
- at ease (this can include putting in a lot of effort)
- self-directed
- enjoyment
- space
- energized
But what do the above attributes mean to you or others? They mean nothing without further explanation. If we each understand what play is for us we can create more meaningful connections. Play is individual. I now encourage others to define their own definition of play. Here’s my friend’s criteria:
- challenge
- fun
- accomplishment
- engagement
- enjoyment*
- ease*
* bold because my friend modified their criteria after reading this response.
What I love about this way of defining play is that it encourages others to consider what play means to them. Also, while testing, and I continue to test my criteria, I often ran into situations where I was not playing. Sometimes I was only off by one or two criteria, and that became a game to see if could change the situation to create a state of play for myself. Sometimes I can. Each time I do this I am testing to see if all six are valid, correct, and absolute. Why? Why not? This method encourages people to use play as a tool as it may be appropriate for them. In addition, there is a lot of value in learning about a situation that is not playful.
One of my favorite questions is can I play with anything? Putting myself in a state of play has been valuable for me. It has lightened the load, added perspective, helped me to problem solve, gain insights, knowledge, and skills. It has helped me to create understanding, laughter, build connections, relationships, added to my well-being, added needed space, and so much more. I’ve found it a worthy learning tool.
I’ve been in a state of play when writing this blog post.
My brother died near the end of March, and the first thing I thought of was, how can I play with this? I decided to play with my brother’s death and life every day for a month. It has been enlightening, fun, and a treasured experience. Most of this has been solo play. I’ve played baseball, HORSE (basketball), Marco Polo, listened to jazz, pick-up-sticks, a game I call “IF … Then” etc. Many of these game variations were improvised on a daily basis – an adventure of sorts.
My question for you, if you feel inspired, is what attributes or criteria help you determine if you are playing, or in a state of play? What boxes do you check off where you can say, this is / was play for me? Feel free to contact me here.
Enjoy the stories and have a playful day,
Mary
